The early bird truly does get the worm! The most important tip is that it is never too early to begin your wedding planning. Starting early gives you the greatest opportunity of securing the location you desire for your wedding and reception.

More than ever the perspective groom is becoming more involved in the wedding planning/ceremony. Men are attending the tastings, helping to choose the colors and/or theme of the wedding. We think this is a great way to start out. If you have a perspective groom, who prefers not to be involved, no problem; however, we suggest that while you are focusing on your wedding, don’t forget to focus on what (or who) is most important – your future spouse.
Have fun!

A. Wedding Budget – Unless your wedding is very formal, there are no absolute rules for who pays for what. Normally, the majority of the cost is assumed by the bride’s parents, but with the expense of weddings ever increasing, it has become "a family affair."  Generally, the bride’s family hosts only first weddings; thereafter, it is more likely that the bride and groom pay for the majority of the costs for the wedding.

Even if one side or the other contributes less, remember to keep them included in some of the planning; as this, will soon be your family too.  It is important to keep the in-law relationship positive; therefore, the bride should allow the groom to approach his family regarding picking up costs for any portion of the wedding.

Once you have made your budget try to stay within your range, not exceeding your budget by more than 10-15%.

After realistically stating your budget, ask the following questions:

B. Wedding Planners/Consultants and Event Planners

You may want to hire a wedding planner, to avoid a hectic planning process.  The expense may be offset by the hours of time a consultant may save you. Consultants’ fees vary from a flat fee, hourly rate, or a percentage of the overall cost of your wedding, which could be between 10 and 20 percent. Seek referrals. Ask other professional, such as caterers, reception on-site coordinators, florists and certainly other brides. You can go on line to the Association of Bridal Consultants for a listing, but I prefer personal references.

Interview more than one consultant. If you are doing a destination wedding, ask how many destination weddings the coordinator has done. Always request client references. Establish the fee structure up front, and make certain you read the contract thoroughly before signing it!

Most important, find a consultant that listens to your requests, one that you feel comfortable working closely with, who will fulfill your desires. It is equally important that you are open to suggestions, and that you are willing to listen attentively to your coordinator. She has planned many more weddings than you and is there to make your dreams come true. If at anytime you feel uncomfortable, or you don’t think your coordinator is carrying out your requests, address the problem immediately. This prevents mistakes and hard feelings.

Make your style known up front. The wedding is not to be the consultant’s dream come true, but rather yours. Decide if your setting is formal or semiformal or informal. This will have a lot to do with the location and costs.

If you run into problems with the florist, cake designer, turn the problems over to your coordinator. A good wedding planner prefers being involved in all aspects of the wedding.  She/he should possess the savvy and experience to make a mountain a molehill.

C. Consultation with Bridal Boutique – Make an appointment to visit the bridal boutique/salon in advance of taking your bridal party with you. Inquire regarding policies, i.e., payment, what sizes they carry, etc. No point in visiting a bridal shoppe that only carries sizes through 16, if members of your party are plus sizes.  Ask how long it will take before the gowns arrive, is there an additional fee for alterations and/or steaming? Is there a storage fee if you want the gowns to remain on site until the wedding?

Email your bridal party with all details including directions and reiterate the date and time of the appointment, hence – no surprises!  Also, include information, if you have preselected the style of gown for your bridal party.  Provide details so they can go on line and view your choice in advance of their appointment.  Include color selection, this leaves no opportunity for confusion or misunderstanding, both of which you want to avoid, during such a special event. 

D. Photographer and Videographer – This is such a critical part of your wedding. Cutting corners is an excellent idea, but not necessarily with your photographer or videographer. Always, always ask for references and ask for samples of work. Ask the references what they liked or would have asked to have done differently? Read your contract carefully before signing. If you have questions, ask! There is no such thing as being too polite, ask, you are paying for the services. Additionally, it circumvents contradictions and/or misunderstandings later.  Put all changes in writing.

E. Caterers – You must have a tasting. Even if you attended your cousin’s wedding months before, the staff may have changed, there could be a new chef. The reception is the wrong place to ask about the food. Here are just several very important questions to get clarified, up front, with your caterer:

What type of food do you recommend for my budget?
Should the meal be sit down, buffet, which would be best?
Do you supply linen, and what is the fee?
How much time do you need to set up?
Will you personally attend my wedding and/or be present for set up? If not, will I meet the person who will handle this part of my reception in advance?
Are there a required guaranteed number of guests?
What is the last day for my final count?
What is the payment policy? What is the deposit needed and when do I need to make the deposit to hold the date?
Are gratuities included in the numbers, and what percent do you charge?
Will all details be spelled out clearly in the contract?
Do you handle the clean up?

F.  Reception – Try to make certain that your wedding and reception are in close proximity of one another.  If there are any delays, contact the caterer/reception hall immediately.  .

G. Contracts – Never sign anything without reading it through thoroughly. If you are tired, don’t sign the contract. It is also good to pay by credit card as this gives you some bartering room if there is a problem. There are federal consumer protection laws to protect you from consumer fraud and/or misrepresentation.

H. Wedding Insurance – You can even invest in wedding insurance through Fireman’s Fund. This does not cover "cold feet." But if there is an emergency it can protect your travel, photographer, any personal liability and more (call 800-364-2433).

I. Details – Do pay attention to detail, don’t waste time paying attention to detail. What I believe to be correct is this, when you know what you want and how you want it, then pay attention to details to make certain that you get what you want. If you want detail, but you are not detail oriented, hire a wedding planner, or get a family member or friend to help with details.

Draw up a plan, beginning with the number of guests, this will then decide your budget, where you can hold the wedding and reception, etc. What is your theme, if any? Is your wedding traditional or nontraditional? It is very difficult to pull off a destination wedding without a wedding planner, unless you are keeping your wedding to a minimum of 20-25 guests. It isn’t impossible, but if you go it alone you need a good travel agent, and it helps to have someone who is familiar with location of your wedding

How you spend your money is equally as important as how much you spend, with the right touches – quaint can be beautiful – with the right details (there’s that word again)!

J. DJ or Live Band – Either the bride or groom should hear the band or DJ, in advance of your reception. If you are hiring a DJ make a list of the music you are requesting in advance and put it in writing and make it a part of your contract. If you are told by the DJ that he does not have the music you are requesting or that they don’t play the type of music you want, find another venue. Ask what the fee will be should you run over? Make certain you have read this contract in full, regardless to whether or not the person is related or a good friend, friendships can end when a contract is not fulfilled.

K. Tips/Final Payments – Generally, caterers, a reception hall, etc. must be paid for in advance of the event. But, there are still those you may want to tip for their excellent service. Make certain all checks and envelopes are written (2) days in advance. Make certain the wedding planner/coordinator has these items in her possession a minimum of (24) hours in advance. Frequently, the mother-of-the-bride or groom will hold the envelopes until the day of the event. Put this on your coordinator’s list of things to do, "Ask, who has the tips/final payment envelopes," before leaving for the church.

Finally, be on time.  Express to your wedding planner that you want your bridal party at the rehearsals on time, and especially they must be on time the day of the wedding. Everyone should get gas the night before. Check tires for air pressure, and leave a minimum of one hour earlier than normal. Let it be known the wedding will start on time!